The most difficult part of building my sculpture was to balance it. I decided to make it of two parts – a base (the legs) and head and chest with hands which connect them with the legs. However, while making the wire armature and then applying the clay I wasn’t really able to figure out how much material and how to position it in order to make it stay by itself.
I thought that it is going to be enough just to stick the two parts with some extra clay. Is there a hidden meaning behind that? Probably. I don’t know. If I have to speak about myself I wouldn’t say I am balanced person, just the opposite – I am doubtful, my moods change with the speed of a flashlight, my life views could seem controversial and it is perfectly normal for me to be in a conflict with myself (actually only then I feel that I am accurately expressing what I think and feel).
So if we say that I lack balance in my subjective world then, I guess, it is consequential to sculpt something which is hard to be physically balance as well.
The important thing is that I am motivated to make at least my sculpture balanced and probably it will enrich myself. Motivation is probably important for every work area and for the handcrafting it is what keeps one going after the first inspiration hours or days. Working with hands opens whole new world of possibilities to learn and develop new skills with constant strive for quality.
In the last chapter of ‘The Craftsman’ Richard Sennett is explaining what quality-driven means: ‘Driven means the obsessional energy invested in making a concrete object or forming a skill’ and continues ‘The pursuit of quality entails learning how to use obsessional energy well.’ This obsessional energy most of us simply call passion. One who is more passionate and knows how to manage it they could bring the quality of their work on new level.
Anyway, if we explore this passion in someone who is lacking balance what we probably will notice is the constant competing, not with others, but with the self.
If I cannot learn to stop measuring myself with what I imagine to become there won’t be anything good enough for me. I am not sure I can find this particular balance – the inner peace and self-sufficiency – and maybe my creations are going to continue showing my weaknesses, my mistakes alongside with my skills and capabilities. It is tempting to say this might be a reason for constant growing – when one climbs up one mountain top they are not satisfied because from there one can see there is bigger one, a greater goal yet to be achieved.
‘Proving oneself to oneself is a sure recipe for unhappiness’ is what follows from the competitive urge. Still I was advised by my academic tutor to create something which is going to impress, not someone else, but me.